Dear Diary,

Our family may be down one canine member if the hole in the fence does not get repaired soon. The oldest canine member escaped again, thankfully it was during daylight hours. Until today, I had thought he was Houdini himself, as I could not find where this mutt was escaping from. Upon further investigation by my smart and observational friend Kelli, it was noticed that he was slipping underneath a loose part of the fence. As per usual, the canine miscreant did not obey my commands of “Want a cookie?!”, “Let’s go on a walk!”, “How about a ride in the minivan? Look, I have your leash!”. After piercing my soul with his eyes of disobedience, as if he were saying, “I will never obey you”, he willingly returned and proceeded to garner the attention of my observational friend….. just by her presence in my driveway.

Alas, I will call the housing authorities to rectify this shoddy fence situation immediately. Until then, the canine family member will have supervised toileting privileges. | consider this to be an absurd waste of my time, as I have spent the last 5.5 years observing the toileting habits of my own two human natives.


“I said wash your hands!” Jennifer

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